Tuesday, November 07, 2006


Brian Cubbage's blog Lost on Twin Earth has officially closed shop. I thought that we should in some special way mark its passing, so, talking to Brian last night, we hatched an idea. Instead of writing some sentimental sap in the form of a mock obituary, we're going to hold a contest, not entirely unlike Brian's wager with Liam on the comments section of this post.

So, we're holding a contest. Whoever comes up with the best story explaining why Lost on Twin Earth has been removed from the blogosphere wins... well, we haven't decided yet. But it will be nice, I promise.

And remember, bonus points will be awarded at my discretion for plausible conspiracy theories. Get crackin'!


Liam said...

Hmm, I pick up that guantlet, or I will later on this week. Is this to be done on our blogs, or on the comment section of this one?

Amy said...

I've got it! Brian must have been subliminally indoctrinating Louisvillians into the Northup regime. Now that she's been defeated, he's defunct. That timing can't be a coincidence!

Tyler Simons said...

I don't know if Brian gave up active blogging to coordinate the Democratic Senate push, but if he did, thanks, Brian!!

(That's not my entry!)

(Unless it wins.)

crystal said...

The Guy Fawkes Day anniversary of the thwarted gunpowder plot ... the US election and Brian's disillusionment with the Republican congress ... do I need to draw you a picture?

Tom said...

I don't know... Maybe he just got a life?

That couldn't be it! I'll come up with my real responce after work.

Sandalstraps said...


How about both?!?


Nice try, but Brian's blog closed shop before Northup's defeat. Perhaps he had the results in advance?

Excellent conspiracy theory in need of more work on the timing. It does, however, account for his Leadership Quiz. Except, wait, Northup is only half-qualified to lead, since while she's white, she's still a she, isn't she?


Nope. That won't win. Not a bad effort, but Amy's ahead of you right now. I eagerly await your real answer.


Bonus points for connecting a conspiracy theory to history, but yes, to win you do need to draw a picture.


[Nothing to say...]

Brian Cubbage said...

[Sitting by with hands quietly folded, gritting teeth at anyone even suspecting that I could ever give any aid or comfort to the Northup campaign]

Amy said...

Well, you see - Northup had taken her electoral lessons from our buddies in Ohio, including voter intimidation, faked ballots, etc. That's the only reason she's been able to stick around so long. However, in the weeks coming up to the election, it became clear to her and her lackeys that popular support for Yarmuth was so strong that no amount of electoral engineering was going to convince people. So, She (with Brian at the helm) decided to cut efforts in order to start working on her next campaign - State Auditor.

Amy said...

And, as for gender - That's debatable. Remember, NOW did indeed endorse Yarmuth. Maybe they know something we don't?

Chappy said...

It was the penguins, pure and simple. Seing Brian's blog as a threat to the media blitz of their upcoming motion picture Happy Feet, the penguins used the fowl influence to convince several less-than-bright pigeons to fly into a power transformer, thereby causing a strategically-placed power outage, which then crippled the servers that hosted L.O.T.E. As added insurance for their nefarious scheme, the penguins threated to support Northup's re-election. Seeing that he had to do his civic duty and sacrifice a source of interesting blog reading, Brian pulled the plug to save Louisville from another Northup term.

p.s. Hope your wrist surgery goes well my friend.


Tom said...

Nevermind. I can't top that.

Sandalstraps said...

If somebody doesn't top it by the end of the week (we'll say, Saturday) I'm going to have to hand first prize to a drummer! Never thought that would happen.

Nicely done, Chappy. Your penguin fetish has served you well.


It is a shame that your more fully fleshed out conspiracy theory was followed so quickly by Chappy's penguins. You held first place for less than two hours! Not even long enough for me to officially declare you the leader.

Amy said...

Thanks. It's a terrible shame.

Good job. What a creative mind!

Chappy said...

I'm glad everyone enjoyed my "theory".

Sandalstraps said...

All who wish to challenge the great and powerful Chappy's conspiracy theory (and penguin fetish) have until Saturday to do so.

Troy said...

Oh, good. I need a little time. I think this is linked somehow to the K-Fed/Brittany split, and of course, Cary Grant.


Liam said...

It was a rainy day on Madison Avenue, and inside the sub-basement of the Opus Dei building, Karl Rove and the re-animated Walt Disney were feeding into a shedder the last few papyrus pages of an unknown gnostic gospel that not only exalted the roles of Judas and Mary Magdelene, but also predicted a Democratic victory in 2006. "The blog, Karl, the blog..." croaked Disney. "Yes, I know..." said his pale fleshy accomplice, "he rarely posts, but when he does, he's dangerous."

The two had alread taken some "necessary steps" to insure "things would go the way we want them to." Pedro Martinez AND El Duque out for the playoffs? Not mere chance... And that was just the beginning.

Outside a few blocks away a shadowy figure wearing a Cary Grant mask climbed up the fascade of the Crysler Building. There was something Kentucky about him. If he could just reach the mind-transmitter before it could break into his brain, a brain made tough from analytic philosophy, but still human... The foil in the mask could only protect him for so long.

His head began to hurt... No! It was too late, Rove and Disney had broken into his mind. They had the username, they had his password. Somewhere in cyberspace, a blog was being deleted.

Princess Pinky said...

I'm still placing my bet on the penguins...unless they were helping Disney.

Brian Cubbage said...

To get analytic for a moment, Liam, what exactly does it mean for there to be "something Kentucky" about a person?

Liam said...

It's a very vague aura that can surround anyone who has any connection whatsoever with the state of Kentucky. I myself had a slight sheen of "something Kentucky" for about a half hour when I changed planes in the Cincinnati airport.

Sandalstraps said...


Bonus points for the noir feel.

Bonus points for reanimating Walt Disney and putting him in league with Karl (didn't you used to be an evil genius?) Rove.

Bonus points for using both Opes Dei and the gnostic gospels, as well as the papyrus in shredder image.

But, a series deduction for "something Kentucky."

All in all, a valiant effort, equal to the might of the artic overlords poisoning Chappy's twisted imagination.

Unless Troy (or some other as yet unidentified commenter) steps in and cleans up, I have until Saturday night to choose between your conspiracy theory and Chappy's. The two of you have stepped to the head of the class.

The winner will be announced sometime Sunday. Stay tuned.

Tom said...

We must all hail our Arctic Overlords!

Sandalstraps said...


I read this and thought of your conspiracy theory. I hope this is nothing like what you had in mind.

Associated Press

LONDON - A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries after lighting a small firecracker he had inserted into his buttocks, paramedics said Thursday. The incident took place Sunday, when Britain celebrated Bonfire Night, traditionally marked with fireworks to celebrate the Guy Fawkes' gunpowder plot to blow up Parliament in the 17th century.

The man suffered burns and other unspecified internal injuries in the incident in Sunderland, 275 miles north of London.

Katherine Shenton, a spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service, said a caller had phoned in that the victim was bleeding after the firecracker exploded.

Several of the man's friends recorded the incident on a mobile phone. The blurry images show a man bent over with his pants down and a white flash as the firecracker explodes.

The Times newspaper reported the man is a soldier who recently returned from Iraq.

Chappy said...

Beware of midgets in tuxedos wearing bird masks, they're probably flightless arctic waterfowl bent on world domination (or well-to-do midgets at a costume party).