Sunday, November 12, 2006

And the Winner Is...

The winner of our reader contest to explain the sudden removal of Brian Cubbage's blog Lost on Twin Earth is...

[hope the drum roll here doesn't give away the fact that a drummer won]

CHAPPY!, who wrote:

It was the penguins, pure and simple. Seeing Brian's blog as a threat to the media blitz of their upcoming motion picture Happy Feet, the penguins used the fowl influence to convince several less-than-bright pigeons to fly into a power transformer, thereby causing a strategically-placed power outage, which then crippled the servers that hosted L.O.T.E. As added insurance for their nefarious scheme, the penguins threatened to support Northup's re-election. Seeing that he had to do his civic duty and sacrifice a source of interesting blog reading, Brian pulled the plug to save Louisville from another Northup term.

The very close runner up was Liam, for this piece of blog-comment noir:

It was a rainy day on Madison Avenue, and inside the sub-basement of the Opus Dei building, Karl Rove and the re-animated Walt Disney were feeding into a shredder the last few papyrus pages of an unknown gnostic gospel that not only exalted the roles of Judas and Mary Magdelene, but also predicted a Democratic victory in 2006. "The blog, Karl, the blog..." croaked Disney. "Yes, I know..." said his pale fleshy accomplice, "he rarely posts, but when he does, he's dangerous."

The two had already taken some "necessary steps" to insure "things would go the way we want them to." Pedro Martinez AND El Duque out for the playoffs? Not mere chance... And that was just the beginning.

Outside a few blocks away a shadowy figure wearing a Cary Grant mask climbed up the fascade of the Chrysler Building. There was something Kentucky about him. If he could just reach the mind-transmitter before it could break into his brain, a brain made tough from analytic philosophy, but still human... The foil in the mask could only protect him for so long.

His head began to hurt... No! It was too late, Rove and Disney had broken into his mind. They had the username, they had his password. Somewhere in cyberspace, a blog was being deleted.


It pains me to say this, but Chappy's grand prize is the following sentence, which I swore I'd never utter:

All hail our arctic overlords!

Now, Chappy, will your danged dream penguins please leave me alone?!?

4 comments:

crystal said...

Congrats to Chappy and Liam :-) I'm not sure which is scarier, and I can't help wondering how the two are connected ,... talking penguins ... a re-animated Walt Disney.

Chappy said...

Okay, okay, I'll tell the penguins in my head to leave you alone...for now.

Brian Cubbage said...

Congrats to Chappy and Liam! You have earned my undying respect. Thanks to all for participating.

Now that the contest is over, I feel that I owe an explanation to anyone who feels my blog's absence. I fear that the explanation for its demise is quite simply that my schedule has become too busy to allow me to post to it regularly. Also, even before my schedule became so full I began to lose a little steam with my blogging. Many of you no doubt recall that I spent a fair amount of time over there wringing my hands about how unsatisfying I found blogging, how I couldn't help but write in a voice that barely resembled my real self, how I wrote angry posts that somehow left me feeling more angry, etc., etc. My hats are off to those of you who find blogging satisfying. I have to confess that for me, it felt like more of a chore than a pleasure. I am glad to be clear of it, and I have no plans to go back.

So that's it. I'm thankful for all of you who visited my blog regularly, and I'm especially thankful for all of you who offered comments on my posts. In the future, expect me to be lurking at your blogs!

Troy said...

Oh, I never finished mine. Maybe I'll still put it up.

I'll miss the blog that almost was.

t