Tuesday, August 19, 2008

If You're a Dog, It's Better to be Catholic

Tom, my source for all things nonsensical, just sent me this delightful exchange between Catholic and Presbyterian church signs:



Sorry, the image didn't do what I'd hoped it would, but if you click on it you should be able to read the signs.

I'm sure my PCUSA friends are begging to explain the differences between their denomination and Cumberland Presbyterians about now.
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Update: For those of you who can't get the image to work, the exchange between the signs goes something like this:

Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN
Beulah Cumberland Presbyterian Church: ONLY HUMANS GO TO HEAVEN/ READ THE BIBLE
Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church: GOS LOVES ALL HIS CREATIONS/ DOGS INCLUDED
Beulah Cumberland Presbyterian Church: DOGS DON'T HAVE SOULS/ THIS IS NOT OPEN FOR DEBATE
Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church: CATHOLIC DOGS GO TO HEAVEN/ PRESBYTERIAN DOGS CAN TALK TO THEIR PASTOR
Beulah Cumberland Presbyterian Church: CONVERTING TO CATHOLICISM DOES NOT MAGICALLY GRANT YOUR DOG A SOUL
Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church: FREE DOG SOULS WITH CONVERSION
Beulah Cumberland Presbyterian Church: DOGS ARE ANIMALS/ THERE AREN'T ANY ROCKS IN HEAVEN EITHER
Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church: ALL ROCKS GO TO HEAVEN

15 comments:

Liam said...

That's awesome. I knew there was a reason we had my Jesuit friend bless our cat.

Sandalstraps said...

Liam,

It was almost certainly Photoshopped, but its still pretty cool.

Amy said...

Very funny. Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

It is photoshopped. Googled the churches and they are nowhere near each other.
Also Presbyterians are much more "Liberal" in their thinking than Catholics in this regard.. If the signs were switched I would have believed it more.

~Kim~ said...

I definitly agree with anonymous that Presbyterians are more liberal (I'm a Presbyterian)I knew immediately that this "exchange of words" was not accurate because most Presbyterians I know have a "live and let live" outlook on life. For what its worth, I definitly believe animals have souls. I would not want to go to a heaven that my dearest companions in life were barred from!

by:
Presbyterian dog lover

Anonymous said...

Go to churchsigngenerator and you will see this is a fake. You can plug in whatever sayings you want and it will make them look real.

Anonymous said...

I think those signs are a hoax. Why are the same cars in the background. Why do the plant leaves not move one bit?

Polymer said...

The signs are definitely a hoax. See:
http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/.

I see that you enjoy going to Holden Beach, NC. I do too, I have a cottage there.

Polymer

Anonymous said...

Our Associate Pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh told me that animals do not go to heaven....I was rather disappointed in him. He left and we have a new Senior Pastor. I'll have to ask him if animals go to heaven. I'd rather not convert, but....?
Gwen 10-16-08

Anonymous said...

I just took it to be neighbor churches whose rectors have a friendly relationship and enjoy teasing each other. Lighten up, folks. Christians (at least some of us) have a sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

I think dogs do go to heaven and if they didnt i would rather just stay on earth. and even if the photos were photoshopped u gotta admit its pretty funny!!!!!

Christopher said...

This is an email that was sent to me today. It answers the "Dogs in Heaven" question quite nicely


This explains why I forward jokes to you.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
He got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book..

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo.

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome at my water bowl anytime

Anonymous said...


Hundreds of image and sign generators can be found on http://www.CustomSignGenerator.com to make more fun pics :)

Anonymous said...

Funny, but definitely not real. notice the cars in the catholic picture never move...

Anonymous said...

I got news for you, yes they do! I know this for a fact!